Dear Santa: You can find David Jentsch in NY this year

‘Twas a month before Christmas
And all through the labs
His bloody victims were screaming
Restrained on their slabs

Security cameras were hung by Jentsch’s henchmen with care
As he trembled that the ARM might soon visit him there
He hired security goons to escort him to and fro
And pined for the days when he wasn’t so well known

But James David Jentsch became a sadist a long time ago
And he forfeited all rights to live in peace the day he decided to torture his first victim!

Dear Santa,

Among his countless victims that span decades, Mr. Jentsch has demonstrated a disturbing penchant for addicting monkeys to drugs, driving them insane in their cages, and carving up their bodies and brains in UCLA’s dungeons. Having earned too much attention in California where he was also a vocal cheerleading shill with AMP-funded Pro-Test for Science, Mr. Jentsch is now opening up shop at Binghamton University. That’s right, Santa! this deviant recently moved across the country to a nice quiet enclave in upstate New York where he believes he will be allowed to continue to ply his sadism in peace and anonymity. So let’s k